And baby makes a lot of people….

I started this blog for ranting and venting about my pregnancy losses. I was at a little loss of words when I became pregnant and was staying that way…..now that I finally had the baby it seems words are even further. It feels kind of weird to write things about a gassy and fussy baby (which happens to be mine) here. Although I am not writing or commenting much (since it is quite hard to do that in my cell phone) but I am regularly reading and following all the blogs that are on my blogroll using my cell. It’s a nice place out here and I never want to stop knowing all these wonderful people.

It’s the seventh week running and still I am shamelessly staying with my mom and dad. People do stay with their parents here but usually only for a couple of weeks. I just can’t imagine looking after the baby all by myself yet. I feel so sleepy all the time and although I feel quite guilty about it – I can’t let this opportunity go :S. Since CJ didn’t make any comments about it yet (so sweet of him!) I will just take advantage of this phase while it lasts. I am not sure whether this should get on the nerves my parents by now – but so far they seem to like taking care of him – good thing my mom does not work and is a stay at home mom.

Now about the baby – now he looks almost like a human baby. He had rashes three times already and used to look like a red monkey; I was quite uncomfortable showing him to visitors. I warned them before I showed him and they gave me a horrible look – ‘How mean you are!’ type. I felt guilty – there are many women out there dying to have babies – I also went through shit while I was preggers. Then it made me think. My pregnancy was never a pleasant one and I couldn’t enjoy it thinking all the time about miscarriage, incompetent cervix, placental abruption, cord strangulation and what not. Now I am getting myself back and I want to enjoy my baby doesn’t matter how weird it seems to people – its not that I am complaining!

So where was I – yeah the red faced baby (who almost looks human now). The first few days I was happy; I was convinced I had the nicest baby on earth. He was sleeping perfectly through the night (I somehow missed the fact that he was doing the same thing during the day – he was only two weeks then). It all started when he became one month old. No one can imagine from his day version how fussy and cranky he is at night. It’s like he is possessed. I was jokingly saying this to CJ the other day and then I looked at the baby and he gave me a creepy look (must have been the squinty eye thingy before his vision gets matured) with a mysterious smile (I must have imagined it) and I was scared as hell. The whole thing amused CJ a lot though.

The reason why I don’t want to go back home because the support I am getting here. We can actually sleep few hours at a stretch at night, watch few movies at home and go out for dinner. There are even times when the baby is sleeping peacefully with my mom and I and CJ are planning whether to raise the baby without any TV or newspaper around and tell him it’s 1830 – we could tell him that we invented electricity (like in the movie waterboy) or we can do things like this on his face…..