One more week to go!

I wasn’t sick or anything. But I guess that’s what kept me from blogging. It has become a place for me to rant and vent so I usually don’t find anything to update if things are going fine (touch wood)!

During January we are going to the doctor on weekly basis. And in the last appointment my super busy doctor actually told us that he doesn’t want to wait any longer and would like to have the c-section done after 39 weeks (he will let us know the final date on our 39th week appointment).

I was full of mixed feelings. I know there is no apparent medical reason for me to have the surgery yet. The baby is nicely head down and putting a lot of pressure on my pelvis. I don’t have high blood pressure or not diabetic and the reason that I had two early miscarriages before does not seem reason good enough to me to have the c-section.

I understand it is probably safer in countries like ours to have a c-section than a vaginal birth. I know sounds crazy but the reason is most hospitals are not well equipped to do something in case anything goes wrong during the natural birth. But still people are having natural birth here safely in most of the cases and I would really like to be one of them!

CJ is also scared about natural birth since recently two of his colleagues lost their full term babies during natural birth. One was due to cord strangulation and another due to suffocation around 42 weeks. I know these are extreme rare cases but CJ actually asked the doctor if we could have the surgery this week! I was so mad at him! Thank God the doctor refused saying let the baby get more matured as I am doing fine.

I know it’s kind of gross but during pregnancy I felt relieved comparing my lady part with the mouth of an Anaconda. As I have watched on TV, the snake is actually capable of swallowing something ten times the size of his mouth and how nicely the elastic mouth accommodates the big meal! I know my lady part was not going to do that while getting the baby out (I really wish it did) and most probably end up like something from which a big bullet just came out and it’s gonna hurt like hell. But somehow I am always scared of an incision. I heard from a lot of people that healing from c-section is very difficult and it will have permanent effect on my body like I will never be able to lift anything heavy! God knows how much truth is there because I have been so busy staying pregnant the whole time I just realize now that I did not make any plans or research for the birth!

How nice!


Cautiously waiting for the Big day!

My ultrasound went well and my boy is measuring right on track! Phew!

Doctors in our country are not too interested to let women have natural delivery. I figured that is mostly because of the following reasons: 


  1. They do not want to take the minimum risks involved in the natural birth. If something goes wrong reputation of the whole hospital goes down.
  2. Since the number of doctors compared to ladies giving birth is very inadequate so they prefer having C-Sections done on days when it is convenient for them.
  3. They are definitely getting paid much higher for the C-Sections.

No matter how bad it sounds things are like this in developing countries. I would definitely like to have a natural delivery but I do not have the guts to insist if my doctor says it’s going to be a C-Section. I know there is not going to be any epidural or any other pain relief if I opt for a natural birth but I am ready to do this – what’s the point of having a major surgery like C-Section if I really don’t need one!

Anyway the only hope I have for natural birth if I go into labor naturally before my due date. They are not going to induce me or let go past the due date that’s for sure.

I wanted to write about the preparation we have taken so far for the baby. If I have to tell you the truth I haven’t done anything. New born babies do not have separate rooms for themselves here – I mean even if some one chooses to decorate one for their baby; the baby will co sleep with them for few months. We don’t have an extra room in our house – we could get our store room but I don’t want to have a separate room for him yet.

I have got one co sleeper which is under lock and key (nobody except for CJ and me knows about it). Got few clothes and random staffs like one bib, a pair of socks (those were bought after each successful ultrasounds) and I haven’t washed them yet.

I know it’s very silly to be scared when I have made this so far. I truly sincerely do not even want to think about the things that can go wrong now – but the thoughts keep coming back to me. I have still got myself living on a secluded land about the whole pregnancy thing and I don’t think I can come out of it until I hold the crying baby in my arms.

I plan to get my hospital bag packed before January 3rd, that’s when my next appointment with the doctor is. Before that I will only buy things that are absolutely necessary for the baby. Hopefully when the baby arrives I can ask CJ to get the rest of the things for me and baby.

Trying not to be stressed over little things

I really wanted to put some pictures in this post but my ‘extra ordinary’ skills with computer and photo editing has made me not to do that since i don’t know how i can reduce the size of the pictures – they are too big. You see I am still not able to put the only award I got (The Pink Rose Award) on my side bar – I still could not figure out how to do that!

Anyway, lots of things going on in life. But most important is that I have lost two pounds in the last two weeks! Although my doctor did not seem concerned at all but I am as usual paranoid. I am going to have an ultrasound on this Saturday just for the peace of my mind. I just want to know that my baby is growing fine and he has not lost any weight!

Another thing that concerns me these days is that fetal movement has decreased a lot. I still fdo feel movements all day but these are not as intense as before. I am just tired of feeling so stressed about this whole pregnancy – I guess there were only few days when I really enjoyed my pregnancy; most of the days I am like – Oh my God, what if this or that happened to my baby!

On a lighter note, last week I came to live with my parents finally! In our culture usually during pregnancy the girls come to stay with her parents. I was fine where I was staying but my MIL was driving me crazy with her weird advices – I just had to come here away from her nonsense. I am pretty bored at my parent’s house but it does feel good to be in my room after years! Planning to be here for at least two more weeks.

Well, if you haven’t already guessed it then here it goes – Yes I live with my in laws because that is what is normal and accepted here in our part of the world!

For example, I and my husband live with our parents in law (CJ’s mom and dad). My brother and his wife live with my mom and dad. My cousins, friends, colleagues everyone do the same here. There are exceptions but only when the couple has some kind big fight with the in laws or there are any problems like space limitation or something that both the parents and the couple understand that there is no way they can possibly stay together.

It is accepted and a general idea here that the daughters shall stay with her parents until they get married (so if a girl never gets married – she stays with them forever).

Well, whatever the reason is – but I am doing okay now there since it is a big house and everybody has their own privacy. I am just glad because we don’t have to pay any rent or not make any food.

But it’s a package deal so I have to hear advices from MIL whenever she sees me. Let me share some here – I am sure you are going to like them 😉

MIL: We need to shave off the baby’s hair within seven days of his birth – otherwise some kind of ghost may bother him!

Me: Smiling and thinking inside – you insane woman no way I am touching a razor on the baby’s scalp!

MIL: Water is very good for the new born. We must give him water all the time or he will be thirsty!

Me: My doctor is going to kill me if I do that!

There’s more and I know she does not mean any harm and this is how she raised her children but please spare me from all these – it’s 21st Century now!

My 20 Week Ultrasound Update…………It’s a


Yeah that’s what my ultrasound technician told me! Well, I could insist but at that time I was so excited and happy with the fact that the baby was healthy and doing fine I really didn’t want to bother about the sex. I do regret a little now for not insisting but I think I can wait few more weeks until I find out.

When CJ and I went inside for the ultrasound, I was worried beyond any limit. I was looking at the screen when she put the wand on my abdomen and when I saw something moving on the screen I was relieved, Okay the baby is breathing!

Then she looked into the head (brain I think) I really wanted to ask her, ‘It is not going to be a dumb baby, right?’

But I really could not gather up the courage to say that – people are not always so good at getting my humors!

Then she looked into all the internal organs, taking a lot of measurements, my eyes were looking for any slightest hint – a little pointed thing or three lines but really could not figure out anything from my position.

After like half an hour or more, she said, ‘Okay you are done now and everything looks 100% perfect!’

I was so so sooooooo happy that I became all teary.

I got up from the table and asked her, ‘So it is a girl right?’ I thought it would be a nice way to ask her about the sex.

She answered, ‘Oh I actually did not look too well there, why don’t you just let it be a surprise?’ It was obvious she didn’t want to tell us.

I smiled back and said, ‘As long as everything is fine nothing else matters.’

But when we were coming back home, CJ seemed a little annoyed. He was like – ‘who is she to decide what is going to be a surprise or not for us!’

Then CJ dear you should have asked that while we were there not now when we are driving back home 🙂

I am going upload the ultrasound picture very soon when I buy the batteries for my camera. I can’t believe it has been 9 weeks since I am planning to have some pictures in my blog but could not take any because I ran out of batteries!

Talk about lazy pregnancy hormones!

When do I enjoy my Pregnancy?

I have been away from blogland for a while but it was nice catching up with the blogs. Everything seems to go well in everywhere and lots of pregnancy news!

I had my 16 weeks scan on 15 August, 2008. All is well with the baby (measuring right on track, healthy heart beat and everything). But the scan technician managed to freak me out with her comment.

While doing the u/s she told me, ‘oh by the way, make sure you drink a lot of liquid since your amniotic fluid is little less!’

I was like: WTF! What do you mean by little less? Is it dangerously less? Should I take medicine? Should I be on bed rest? Do I have a fracture in my membrane? Am I having early labor?

Then the lady decided to keep her mouth shut! Doesn’t she know these comments could just kill people like me!

I was really mad at her when I saw that in the report she did not mention anything about less Amniotic Fluid, rather she wrote, ‘Amniotic Fluid is adequate!’ Then why the hell did she bother to say things to freak me out like that?

I don’t know at what point of my pregnancy I will feel comfortable sharing the news. Still the number of people who know about it is less than 15 and includes people like my family, CJ’s family and few essential people in my office.

I had a get together with my five closest friends a couple of days ago. We used to be in the same school around 7th grade and we are still very good friends. I was prepared that if they ask me anything about my thick midsection I would tell them the news. But to utter surprise nobody even noticed. May be it is because we had dinner at a dark Italian restaurant and most of the time I was sitting.

Funny thing was that in the table one of my friends declared about the pregnancy of her sister in law and described how she was 16 weeks and nobody could even guess that she was pregnant!

I happen to have some pelvic pressure from yesterday which kind of scares me. It is not severe but there is a saying in our country that “if a cow has ever experienced fire in her farm/barn, she will be scared seeing red clouds in the sky during sun set!” So I am like that cow now, freaking at every little symptoms.

Lazy Girl in Action Again – i.e. Posting Again!

I have been a bad blogger – a real bad one. I wanted this to be a journal where all our struggles to parenthood will be recorded but I am being so bad at updating.

Let’s go back to my 12 week ultrasound day. The worst thing about having u/s at random clinics is that we have to explain each time to the technician why we are doing it and that he also needs to give us details on how things are working inside my Ute.

For our 12 week u/s we went to a clinic near our house and there the technician was a young lady in her mid twenties. She wasn’t quite getting our dilemma. We told her about the previous miscarriages but she kept on asking, ‘I don’t understand what’s wrong? Why are you scared about this pregnancy?’ I said, ‘look I hope there’s nothing wrong and you just need to find out that everything’s okay’. Then she said why wouldn’t things be ok (I really think she never saw a not okay baby in anybody’s Ute).

I decided not to talk any more until she starts the u/s. But she kept on and on pressing the wand on my abdomen without saying a word. As I could not see the screen properly so I had to ask her, ‘Is it moving?’

She almost fell down from her chair and looked to me in disbelief, ‘Now why wouldn’t the baby move?’

I wish I was so naive like her! But I was happy so I just smiled. The baby measured 12w2d and heartbeat was 159 bpm on Friday, July 18. Phew and Thank you dear God!

Ultrasound Update

I had my ultrasound and my baby is fine (Thanks to God – I have become very devoted to God these days!).

The baby looks more human now and s/he waved at us few times during the u/s.

I wanted to write more about the u/s but I have just thrown up my lunch minutes ago so I guess I will take some rest now and give details in my next post.