I am sick of seeing the one liners…

Yeah, that’s what I am seeing every morning. I tested two yesterday and one today – same thing!

I still do have little nausea and tiredness so I do have some hope that I may have ovulated later than I think therefore not getting positive yet. Well at the same time I know most probably my mind is playing trick on myself and giving me a lot of pregnancy symptoms. Whatever it is…I am stressed.

I don’t know I am mad at who but I am really mad that getting knocked up is becoming so stressful. So once I do get knocked up I can’t imagine how stressful it is going to be staying that way!

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No luck this month!

I wish I could actually write something like, “yeah we made it” around this time of the month but sadly enough it is more like, “No this was not our month”.

I am okay. I was very sad on the 18thApril when I checked with a HPT and it was a BFN.

CJ was little mad this time, “You make us feel old” and “Stop being so paranoid – it’s just the first month we are trying!”

I have decided to be more reasonable. I understand I am making it more like a chore and there is little fun left in the process. But despite my understanding and everything else, I really really want to be pregnant now. So I guess I am back to where I was.

I started my period yesterday. At least this is a good thing that it was on time this month. I was worrying my cycles were screwed up since last month my AF was 10 days late.

My cousin had a baby girl last night. Back in October we were discussing how close our babies would be since her EDD was during last week of April and mine was May 10. Well she had her baby and I am trying hard as if everything is absolutely okay with me.

I am happy for her but I don’t know some where something is not feeling right. I guess I am just jealous. I am a horrible person and I do not expect any body in my family to understand. We will go to the hospital and see the baby today after work.

To take my mind off these TTC thingies and pregnancy stuffs I have decided to be occupied with new ideas to tidy up my room. Last night I filed properly all the important documents I had at home (like my certificates, cards etc), marked 13 sets of different keys so that I stop having trouble finding the right one at the right time and completely arranged all my clothes in the Almirah.

Things in my life seems to be moving very slowly.

I guess I should not have my hopes too high anymore…

Yesterday was a bad day for me.

I took a HPT in the morning and it came negative.

The night before, when me and CJ were in the bed; I said I would take a test tomorrow.

He was immediately annoyed; No way! Promise me you wouldn’t take the test until 19th April when your AF is due.

I reluctantly said okay but I knew I was going to do it anyway next morning.

May be it was a little early for taking the test but since I am having all kinds of symptoms (which can very well be pre-menstrual) I could not wait any longer.

I am not sure when I ovulated this month but as I have a 31-32 day cycle I always assume it is during the mid cycle. So may be yesterday was actually 10 DPO. But who knows may be it was 14 DPO!

I guess I will check again around 19th if I don’t get my AF by then already.

L

Started worrying already-please God keep me sane in this Journey!

Moving from one place to another is such a pain! Not to mention that I couldn’t even take a day off from work using the shifting as an excuse.Well, we have already shifted to a new house on last Tuesday. This house is definitely bigger and I surely hope that there is going to be more privacy from other people living in this house than the last one. 

I am kind of scared. I have planned to be off BC from this month. I guess you might become a little surprised but it is true that I don’t have any idea how does an ovulation kit works or taking basal temperature helps you to find out the right time! What I have read in the net and understood from other peoples’ blog that when the temperature is higher it is most probably the time when you have laid the egg! J 

I am not sure if can find any additional help (OPK) in my country but I guess I will stick to our traditional method which is to have sex on alternate days from day 10 to day 20 after LMP. I think I heard somewhere or somebody told me that during ovulation a lot of egg what type mucus is produced and I have been tracking that for last three months. What makes me even a better predictor that last month I did not feel any kind of egg white secretion  near day 15 but felt it a little around day 23/24 after LMP, my period was delayed by 10 days last month so I think I am getting good at it. 

I am a little worried and scared thinking what if I don’t ovulate like last month and if I do then what if I miss it! I am also very annoyed with myself that I am already stressing myself over getting pregnant so only God knows how I am going feel once I get pregnant!